What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 29.06.2025 14:32
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She found it foreign!.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Trump speech prompts concerns about politicization of military - NBC News
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Apple Knows AI Isn’t What People Really Want, but It Can’t Say That - Gizmodo
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
So whats the point in blame.
I was 9 years of age.
Arizona Officials Approve Public Funding For Chase Field Renovations - MLB Trade Rumors
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is soul school!.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Mets To Sign Richard Lovelady - MLB Trade Rumors
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She was in good health!
What blowjob techniques do you use for your man to cum inside your mouth?
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She wouldn,t have been !
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We all went to grammer schools
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I know ,a lot about trauma.
How and why do cats purr? Scientists finally found the answers - Earth.com
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Your Android phone just got a major feature upgrade for free - including these Pixel models - ZDNET
Put me off passion for life!!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
You Can Own This Ultra-Rare Italian Viper - Motor1.com
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I was seconnd youngest,
Scientists Stunned by Evidence of Ancient Birds Nested in the Arctic - The Daily Galaxy
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
When she asked me how she looked .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
My family never makes their pension either.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
So, i spoilt her more .
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I will be 64.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Who then, do I blame.?
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
And i lived it daily.
As i do to all so called friends.?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
(And it was in our own minds.)
One cannot live in the past .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I think the readers, may guess!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He knew the spot.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I write beautiful poetry .
I never cut or harmed myself..
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Im still living with it.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
She married twice! .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
She loved him until the end.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
What did i know ?
Would this be the day?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
We were not on the streets..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He resisted the act ,that day.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Comes on , in middle age.
I have no regrets .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
All the time i was locked up.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Ive learnt so much.
I was scared of men, in general
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But it wasn’t much.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But, we were locked up after school.
I was very sick at this time too.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
My life is so biszare .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I said to her
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
It was going to be , some day.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I waited trembling.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But ive been too sick for many years..
I couldn’t, believe it.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I don,t even have a pension.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.